Coin Operated Girl

mother of pearl!

2005-11-22T17:58:00.000-08:00

Goodness! it's been a long, long time since i last posted on my blog! i can't even remember the last time i did. things have been really crazy lately. ever since school started i have been really busy and my life has recently become more and more complicated. i would explain, but it would take a while. i am currently unemployed(which sucks, i know), i am now a junior in high school and my teenage years are sadly slipping away. i don't want high school to end. i don't want to be grown up and get a job and have to pay bills and take care of myself. then again, i don't want to live with my dad my whole life. i'm still not sure how i'm going to pay for college and where i'm going to live after i graduate from high school. i guess these are just normal things that teenagers my age think about.
A major thing that is going on in my life right now is i'm redecorating my bathroom! the walls are being painted blue and it is going to be decorated with rubber duckies. cute, i know:P I have a car now, which is awesome. i don't have a job to pay for the gas so i am forced to mooch money off of my father, which is not cool.
I don't know what else to write because there are some things that i would like to say but i can't say because i don't want everyone reading them.
I went paintballing on saturday for the first time. it was awesome! it was so much fun! i went with scott, marshall, jeff and marshall's brother. (i would say what i think about marshall, but i'm afraid i can't)anyway, while we were playing this game called "the gauntlet" we had to get from one side of the wash* to another while being shot at. oh and you have no weapon. it was awesome! anyway, marshall, scott, jeff and i had to run across the wash while marshall's brother shot at us. By the time i reached the end, everyone had been shot and marshall's brother was running out of paintballs. i was hiding behind a bush and beyond was the finish line but there was no cover at all and i knew that there was a good chance of being shot if i ran. so i stood there behind the bush while the boys were earging me to run for it. after i refused, marshall ran over to me and said "use me as a shield" so i grabbed on to the end of his camo jacket(i was also wearing camo)and ran with him between me and his brother. i made it to the finish line and i was so proud that i had made it that far without being shot. i can't wait to play again. but alas, i must end my post because dinner is ready and i have to eat. bye!

* Removal or erosion of soil by the action of moving water.

what's cracking home slice?

2005-08-01T12:43:00.000-07:00

i have 15 minutes 'til i have to leave to go to st.george to take this class to get my food handlers permit 'cause i got a job! *dances* i don't start for another week but the hours are perfect! 4-7 or 8 monday through thursday. that's right. i get friday, saturday and sunday off every week! mwahaha. i'm really excited because this job will be really easy and the everything works out perfectly. i can buy a car too. cause i'll have money and money is good *drools* haha but anyway.......i don't know what else i can talk about. school is starting on the 15th and i'm excited for that too. weird, huh? i want school to start. summer is boring...or at least it has been. i'm just sick of sitting around the house all day and not doing anything. i can't do anything cause my dad works all the time everyday from 7-7 and i have no mode of transportation. i do stuff with scott a lot but i don't hang out with my girl friends at all. weird....i've only hung out with them a couple of times all summer. i've been gone a lot too though so that's understandable. ooooo! some exciting news that i forgot to mention earlier. my dad got a temporary order to stop child support, so now money isn't taken out of his check each month. i don't know when the court date is...i don't think there is one yet but when we go to court my mom will have to start paying child support and i will point and laugh at her....not really, but in my mind i will :P she's an idiot. i hope she has to pay back all of the child support money that she has gotten since my sister moved out of my mom's house. do you know how much that is!? since january, when my sister moved out, my dad has payed 1750 unwillingly. yeah. that 1750 dollars does not belong to my mom but she took it anyway. she could have done the right and honest thing and sent it back but instead she decided to keep it for herself when she knew it didn't belong to her. it makes me really angry. she has also told my sister and i more than once that she was going to send the money back but, guess what. we haven't gotten a cent of it back from her sorry ass. she needs to grow up.

button

2005-07-24T00:14:00.000-07:00

the song playing on the tv right now bugs me.....now this song is good! Speed of Sound- Coldplay..i'm in SLC right now at my aunts house and there is a kitten on the computer desk. this kitten is sooo cute. his name is mikey. i'm not doing a whole lot other than talking to people on the MSN. that is pretty much all that my life boils down to. i got a job but i haven't started yet. i am going to lagoon tomorrow so i should have gone to bed by now but....i can sleep in. plus, i'm not that tired and talking to scott(and matt) is much more fun than sleeping:P Scott worries me some times. he worries too much about things that involve me and other guys. like his friend jon who i "dated" in 4th grade (even though all we did was hold hands! obviously! it was only 4th grade! sickos!) but i worry about what he's thinking. does he worry about me being friends with Jon because he acts like it. i don't know. blarg! i can't wait until school starts and i can see scott and my friends everyday. and i'm just excited because i took awesome classes. 3 A.P. classes but it will be easy:)

just a thought

2005-07-14T22:51:00.000-07:00

i was just thinking about it and, my blog is kind of dark and depressing....some of the blogs and poems i have are depressing. but i guess my heart is reflected in my writting. you can't write about happy things if you don't feel it inside of you...

through the looking glass

2005-07-14T22:44:00.000-07:00

i'm breaking free
popping pills like daisies
in the hopes that my life
my sad sorry life
would soon end

stupid dream
stupid wish
it's a futile search
for something beyond the norm
in that the norm
is different from all i know

contradictory to itself
my life is
hope is lost through the looking glass
and sorrow is found
in the ones i hold dear
for i know more than they
about trial
and tribulation
---------------------------
that's weird....i just wrote it as it came to me

for you scotty

2005-06-29T21:51:00.000-07:00

Staring across the surface of the crystal blue water, watching vibrant colors dance across the glass-like lake, she looks down with hopefull eyes. 200 feet till the end...or the beginning of a new life...A better life. A small shiver runs through her frail body as she tilts her head to the sky, her silken hair flowing in the soft breeze. Why does she look, when she knows there is nothing there? Nothing looking back into her eyes....into her heart. She slowly lowers her head and gazes across the calm waters "The end is waiting for me", she whispers, "my end" She spreads her arms like a bird ready to soar and takes the last step...the first step..." My beginning".

Fear....What's Yours?

2005-06-27T23:19:00.000-07:00

People are weird....www.phobialist.com

dances

2005-06-27T22:48:00.000-07:00

Not -that- much has happened since i posted last time. I haven't talked to my mom in over a month, which isn't a bad thing. I think about it a lot though. I mean, i don't want to talk to her but it would be nice to know that she wants to talk to me. I guess she's happy with her new life. I was thinking about it the other day and, what if, my mom had a kid! that would be weird. A half brother/sister that i would hardly ever see...weird. I went to the Grand Canyon yesterday. Yes, i went to the giant crack in the earth. More than once i thought about throwing myself off of the edge. The feeling wasn't as strong as it used to be and i know why. Even when i was with Kaleb, i still thought about killing myself but now that i'm with Scott i don't think about it at all. Scott is -nothing- like Kaleb. Just thinking about how i let Kaleb treat me is making me sick. With myself and with him. I'm glad i'm not in that relationship anymore. I've been hanging out with Scott almost everyday and i like it a lot. I got sick of Kaleb after a while. His stupid immature, baby-like, moody behavior was very tiring. Not to sound cheesey but Scott is perfect. I don't know how i got so lucky. I'm going to Vegas on the 2nd. Every time i go to Vegas i think about the kid that i met from there that fell in love with me and got his heart broken when i didn't love him back...i still feel bad about that...after vegas i'm going to Delta for a week. It won't be -that- bad. I will have fun hanging out with my cousins. heh, most people don't think i'm much of a complex individual...haha...what do you think? Am i complex enough for you? haha comment or something! I like comments

give me those pills

2005-06-15T22:49:00.000-07:00

unfortunately, my mother is not moving to seattle. she is moving to salt lake. she called and told my sister and i that she wanted us to help her move this weekend. i'm thinking "no". i'm not going. i don't even want to see her. my dad set up a court date for child support. ok, here's the story. my mom is still getting child support money and my sister hasn't lived with her for about 5 months now. you're probably thinking "well, why doesn't he just not send the money" and that's not how it works. 250 dollars is taken out of his check every month and sent to my mom. and my sister doesn't even live with her anymore! it pisses me off. god, just typing this is making me sad.....we are going to court soon...i'm not sure when but my mom won't sign the papers saying that my sister doesn't live with her anymore because she doesn't want to stop getting money and she doesn't want to pay any money. after this court thing, we will be getting an extra 500 dollars that we weren't getting before. my mother really pisses me off....i don't even know why i refer to her as my mother...she never calls me just to talk. when she calls it's because she wants something from us...i haven't talked to her since the beginning of the month. god, now i'm crying.....why does she have to be like that?! i feel lost........and abandoned..i hate crying...if i have kids, i will be a good mother...not like her...i'll be there for my kids...

cottage-cheese

2005-05-26T20:29:00.000-07:00

hi. I'm really bored and i have nothing to do so i will make a post. I'm not sure what to write about. My mom is leaving on June 3rd to Seattle and i'm not sad. I'm actually looking forward to her being gone. School is now out and i'm glad. I went swimming with my friends on the last day of school. We went to the lake and it was so much fun. I got a major sun burn but it doesn't hurt too bad any more. All of my friends got burnt too. I'm staying with my cousin right now and i will be here until sunday. She lives in Salt Lake. We are going to party! oh yes. I got my license and i love the picture. Everyone says that their pictures suck and that there is a curse on the driver's license picture but i find it hard to believe since my picture is so good. Ack, the adventure that is going to the DMV. It sucks. It especially sucked for me because of what happened before i actually got to the DMV. heh, Scott really wants to know why it sucked so bad and i will probably tell him but i don't know when. It is really embarrasing. It's one of those things that girls understand but guys just say "eww! gross!" and don't want to talk or hear about. That's the main reason i don't want to tell him. My cousin wants me to go to school with her tomorrow cause all of her guy friends want to see what i look like but i don't really want to go. I want to sleep in and be lazy and talk to Scott tomorrow. I don't really want to talk about Kaleb but i will. He is a dick and he needs to die. He went to the Middle school down in hurricane and he saw my sis and her friends there. He was sitting at a separate table and started to throw celery and chicken nuggets at them. He is one of the most immature people i know. He is ugly and fat and I can't believe that i went out with him and i actually MADE OUT WITH HIM!! *barfs* Anyways... back to Scott. He is the best thing that has ever happened to me. He is so nice and mature and hes not rude to my sister like Kaleb was. He is on the swim team and he plays soccer and he is really buff. I talk to him every day either on the phone or on the intnernet. I used to see him everyday cause of school but now that we dont have school i dont get to see him everyday. But its a good thing that we both have our lisence's and he has his own car. AWESOME!!! We like to party together and get down and dirty!!! *ORGASM* OH YA!!

It's been a while

2005-05-19T09:06:00.000-07:00

Wow! i haven't actually written anything in here in a long time. Where to start....lots of things have happened. It's crazy! I guess i will start with my mom. She is moving to Seattle next month because her 'finance' got a better job there and she is going with him. she will be gone for at least 3 years. She says she will visit every chance she gets but i find that hard to believe. I'm glad she's leaving though. I really don't like my mom at all(for reason that would take to long to explain.) My dad also has a 'girlfriend' although he doesn't admit it. He talks to this girl on the phone every chance he gets and he talks for hours! He is going to visit her for a few days at the end of the month and i can guarantee that he won't be staying in a hotel. If you know what i mean. School is almost over and i'm kind of sad. I don't really want it to be over. I want to be able to see some people everyday. kaleb and i broke up and i'm starting to feel less bad about it. I'm seeing some sides to him now that i didn't see before and i don't like them. I'm starting to get used to not having him around. I have a 'new' boyfriend. Scott!(or scottland or any other weird name like that. he has so many.) Some people have commented on how fast i went from kaleb to scott and it makes me feel bad. i mean, i didn't cheat on kaleb at all. i just arranged some things before i broke up with him. I like scott a lot better than kaleb. My relationship with kaleb was not something that i wanted. I didn't feel comfortable talking to him about things but i feel like i could talk about anything with Scott. I can be goofy and have fun with him. Kaleb was so serious and he always had this angry vibe coming from him. i have even been afraid of him a few times. kaleb just wasn't going anywhere. He had no hopes and dreams. He was just a dead end. He is also really moody and acts like a 3 year old girl sometimes. he pouts when he doesn't get something that he wants. He also gives up really easily. eh, i just finally realized that he wasn't for me. ok, on to happier things! i'm getting a puppy at the end of June!! its name is going to be cricket. Cuteness, huh? Anyway, i'm at school so i better get off of here cause the bell's going to ring.

word of the day

2005-02-28T15:51:00.000-08:00

hello boys and girls. i have found an interesting word for today. Fandangle. It means a decoration or adornment. I think it's an interesting word and i didn't even know it was a real word. Interesting.

Just a little poem for you...

2005-01-24T06:07:00.000-08:00

Here's 2 short poems for you guys. They were written not to long ago when i was having a hard time. I was a little depressed and sad. Writing poetry always helps me when i'm feeling sad. I hope you like them! : )
_______________________________________________

I cried myself to sleep again
The pain is coming back to me
A dull ache
Like someone is waging a war
deep inside me
I cannot overcome the hurt
A wound that will not heal

( i will write the other later, i gotta go to school!)

Change of Plans...

2005-01-08T11:54:00.000-08:00

It turns out that my mom isn't moving to Texas anymore. She decided to stay because she claims(and i stress "she claims") that she doesn't want to move that far away from me and my sister but i think it's because she has a boyfriend. Before she got a boyfriend she was sure that she was moving and now she's not moving. Well, she's not moving to Texas anyways. She's now moving in with her boyfriend. I hate the way she is only thinking of herself. She didn't even stop to think about my sister, who will be living withe her. She also tried to pawn the dog off on me and my dad after she specifically told my dad that she wanted the dog. I've decided that i'm not going to her house to stay again. Except for maybe her birthday or something, but that's it.
Next topic! My social life has slowed down a bit. I'm going to the movies today and then i'm going to a party at my friend Ray's house later tonight. There was a concert last night at the Electric Theater and i wanted to go but i didn't have any money. I stayed over at Katie's house instead and Jackie and Bevan came over and we hung out and played in the snow and stuff. It snowed a lot yesterday. It never snows here! It was awesome. It was so pretty. The snow was gone when i woke up this morning. It had rained(and was still raining) so all the snow was gone. Anyways, i'm going to go play a game or something. Thanx for reading! ; )

How the world is...

2004-12-16T08:22:00.000-08:00

I haven't posted anything new in a long long time. *sweatsweat* I have been busy lately and i haven't been in the mood to get on the computer. My world is kind of hectic. There are many things going on. To start, my mom is moving back to Texas in April but she hasn't told my dad about it yet. I'm considering telling him because he will be upset if he finds out later that we already knew. My sister, who chose to live with my mom when the divorce thing started, now wants to live with my dad and I. I don't blame her for changing her mind. The only reason she wanted to live with my mom was so she wouldn't feel bad. My mom is not a nice person. She is very selfish. Possibley the most selfish person I have ever met. She acts like a 17 year old and my sister even told me that I act more like a mother than my mom. This may sound cold and i may seem like a witch but I hate my mom more than any other person in the whole world and I won't be sad when she moves away and I won't miss her. I'll be glad she's gone. She has ruined my dad's life, my life and my sister's life. She doesn't think about anyone but herself. I don't think of her as my mother anymore. I don't miss her and I'm not sad that i don't see her everyday. I don't even talk to her. I don't remember when i talked to her last. All i know is that it was over 2 weeks ago and that doesn't bother me. She sould be the mother and take responsibility. If she wanted to talk to me or make plans to spend time with me then she should call ME! I shouldn't have to call her. She's supposed to be the adult and the mother but i think i have filled in that position as best I can. I am trying to be tough but there is only so much i can take. Sometimes i feel like exploding froming holding all of my emotions in. Anger, sadness, hatred, loathing, regret. They're all tearing me up inside. Somedays i just feel like breaking down and crying my eyes out. I have actually done it before. When i'm home alone and there is no one around and the weight on my heart just seems like it is too much. It hurts to even think about it. To think that i've shown weakness. I hate showing weakness in myself. That is why i have a hard time crying about anything. I guess i really am coldhearted...

Boyfriends

2004-10-16T19:34:00.000-07:00

My opinion on boyfriends is that they are great sometimes. Single life is good if you don't know what you're missing, but it sucks if you know what you are missing. I no longer have to suffer with single life because i am no longer single! It's wonderful. Having someone( a guy) to talk to is really nice. Knowing that someone likes you, and likeing someone is a wonderful thing. I'm to young to know what love is, but i think this might be pretty close to it. I know i won't marry this guy, but right now i'm happy. I don't believe on dwelling on the past or thinking to much about the future. I live in the now. I'm a "fly by the seat of my pants" type of girl and that works very well for me.

Homework Sucks!

2004-10-07T08:32:00.000-07:00

ack! i have tons of work due tomorrow and hardly any of it is done! If you knew me better, you would know that i'm a major procrastinator(i think that's how you spell it) I always put off huge projects until the day before they are due. I'm a "fly by the seat of my pants" kind of girl. I'm organized but now when it comes to homework. Anyways, enough complaining!

Concert

2004-09-28T20:38:00.000-07:00

Well, the concert has came and went but it was the best night of my life(so far anyways) I had so much fun! I have a lot of time right now so i'll give you the full story!
That day didn't start out with any excitement oddly enough. I was actually feeling kind of down that day. But i guess i was saving all of my energy and excitement for the concert! I talked to Katie and Jocelyn on the phone and finalized our plans. I started to get ready at about 3:00 and i was ready to go by 5:45(it took me that long because i made sure i looked GREAT) My grandparents decided to make a little visit to my house that day so we left a little later than we had hoped for. My dad first picked up Katie, then we drove to Jocelyn's house and picked her up and we were on our way to the concert! The ride there we were wiggling and shifting in our seats. We couldn't sit still! And there were no awkward silences either. We were giggling and laughing and randomly saying "dude" with much enthusiasm.
We pulled up across the streat from The Electric Theater and we jumped out of the truck. The side walk in front of The Electric Theater was littered with a sprinkling of people who had also gotten the idea to get there early. 99.9% of the people standing on the side walk were wearing black(inculding me and Jocelyn) Katie, however, was wearing a bright pink Hello Kitty t-shirt. She was proud to be the only one there wearing pink, and i was proud to have her with me. We walked across the street and into the store called Switched. Standing in front of the counter was the lead singer from My Chemical Romance. I saw him but i did not say anything to my friends. I thought they would notice too and i didn't want to be a freak and start pointing and yelling and stuff so i just kept walking. Further back into the store i finally said something to Katie and Jocelyn(i figured they hadn't recognized him since they weren't saying anything about it) When i told them their eyes got big and their mouths dropped open a little and they both uttered "really?" I nodded my head and they both turned and looked at him.(he isn't a bad looking guy by the way) About the same time they looked, he was leaving the store and they were a little disappointed. We didn't find anything that we really HAD to have, and we wanted to save our money for merch so we left the store and stood outside.
The ticket booth opened and we got in line. All three of us had bought our tickets online about 3 weeks before the concert so we were set! We got inside and i could hardly believe how tiny it was. There was a half-circle counter in the middle of the tiny room and door-ways on the left and right leading to the stage. We went through the one on the left and into the main area.
The Electric Theater used to be a movie theater and the seats were still there. The stage was put in place of the movie screen and it was quite small. There was a small area in front of the stage where people could stand. We got as close to the stage as we could(we were in the second row you could say) and we waited for the first band to appear. As we stood in front of the stage I noticed that there were many familiar faces in the crowd. One of them was Eric(i won't disclose his last name). I have a major thing for that boy. He stood out from the crowd, held up a bunch of sharpies and said"ok, who wants to sign Eric?" Everyone just kind of looked at him and continued talking. He said again, "come on! you know you want to!" I poked my head out of the crowd and said "i'll sign you!" After i said that he looked at me and said "ok, come on Malissa!" I about died!! I couldn't believe he actually knew my name! I have two classes with him and he is good friends with my friend Kaleb.(kaleb is awesome by the way) I walked up to him, grabbed a sharpie and wrote "HHS sucks!" on his shirt. Then my friend Katie grabbed a sharpie and wrote the same thing. It was great! I've never been that close to him before! I nearly passed out! I smiled at him and he smiled at me and i turned around and worked myself back into the crowd where Jocelyn was standing.
The first band to play was Broke. When they first said their name i was confused because i didn't know if they really were broke or what. I soon figured out that their name was Broke though. The lead singer was pretty good looking and his voice was "o.k" and the rest of the band members were pretty good but they weren't the best band in the world. No one in the crowd was acting very excited, including me, Katie and Jocelyn. No one was dancing or moshing or anything. Eh, the guitarist for Broke had a major problem though. He kept turning his back to the crowd while he was playing and whenever he would bend over his HUGE BUTT CRACK could be seen from miles around! It was sooo nasty! Blech!
Murrieta was next and they rocked! People were cheering and yelling and dancing around. The moshing hadn't gotten really good yet but it was getting there. The lead singer for Murrieta was HOT! He was sexy! His voice sounded really good too! The rest of the band was also awesome. They incorporated a keyboard into their act and the lead singer or the guitarist would play it during songs. It was really cool. It gave their band a unique quality.
Hudson River School was next and they rocked so much!! They were even better than Murrieta! They were the second reason i wanted to come to this concert! But the trouble started when Hudson River School was playing. Me, Katie and Jocelyn were moshing and having a great time when all of a sudden we were smashed into the people in front of us! We pushed back and we were slammed forward again. We could hardly move. Jocelyn and I got seperated from Katie and we were getting thrown all over the place. I almost fell on more than one occaission. I thought i was going to die! If i had fallen, i probably would have! Jocelyn and I were pushed to the very back of the crowd but we had lost Katie. We spotted her in the middle of the moshpit and she was doing ok so me and jocelyn just stood there dancing around to the music. We had missed most of the songs because of the violent people in the crowd but we still enjoyed it! When the band left the stage and the crowd was calm again, Me and Jocelyn joined Katie in the center of the crowd and we waited.
My Chemical Romance was next. The moment that my friends and I had been waiting for for 3 weeks! It had finally come! All the lights switched off and My Chemical Romance came onto the stage. The crowd went crazy! My friends and i were going crazy! It was awesome! They came out and they started to play and people started moshing again. There was this one guy who was at least 6'9" that was ruining everything! He had been the cause of the former smashing of bodies and he was doing it again. There was no escaping him! He smashed me and my friends and we were all seperated. I tried to hold on to jocelyn but i couldn't. We were all pushed in different directions. I ended up in the very back on the right side of the crowd. I found out later that my friends were also in the back but they were on the left side of the crowd. So i stood there, by myself and i rocked out! I pushed my way a little farther into the crowd and to the left so i was kind of in the center. While i was standing there, this guy started rocking out really hard then he passed out! Right in front of me! It was awesome! The security guards came and carried him out. It was great.(for me, not him) They played awesome songs and i sang along to the ones i knew. They played their last song, left the stage, and the crowd started cheering for an enchor so the band came back out and played one more song. It was awesome!
After the last song, i found Katie and Jocelyn and we went to get some merch! We were dying of thirst by this time so we found a drinking fountain first. After we all took long drinks, we got in line for the My Chemical Romance merch. I only had $20 so i could only get something from one band. I really wanted CDs from Murrieta, Hudson River School and My Chemical Romance but i didn't have enough. Jocelyn bought the My Chemical Romance CD and a t-shirt that says"My Chemical Romance-Thanks for the Venom" Katie got 2 stickers and some pins and a black wife beater that says "My Chemical Romance-The devils got a place for you and me" and there's a cartoony devil in the middle. I got a t-shirt that is camo and it says"My Chemical Romance-Give 'em hell, kid!!!" It has a little shield with two guns on it and it says "revenge" above the shield. It's soo awesome!
After we got our merch we went and sat on some benches outside. We were sitting and talking when Katie decided she wanted to change her shirt since she was all sweaty(we were all damp with sweat. it was gross) So she went behind the building and as soon as she was out of sight, a cop drove by. He came out of the ally that Katie had gone done and a few seconds later, Katie emerged with her sweaty shirt still on. It turns out that the cop had spotted her back there changing her shirt. We waited until the cop drove away then Katie went down some stairs and we stood guard while she changed.
Katie's mom was supposed to pick us up, and she arrived late(as usually) We all climbed into the car and started the trip home. That concert was awesome and we are still talking about it! I can't wait to go to another one!

Shopping

2004-09-23T13:36:00.000-07:00

Shopping! I'm going shopping for the concert after school today. heh, i'm actually in school right now. I shouldn't really be typing this right now. I just hope my teacher doesn't come in. *sweatsweat* i don't think he will but i better get off anyway. Byebye!!

THE 25th!

2004-09-20T19:16:00.000-07:00

The 25th of September is a very important date for me! I'm going to my first concert! It's going to be great! I"m going to see My Chemical Romance, Hudson River School and Murrieta at The Electric Theater with my friends Katie and Jocelyn. www.theelectrictheater.com is the site! Check it out! They are awesome bands and i'm so excited to go! I bought my ticket like, 3 weeks ago and i've been patiently waiting for the 25th to come. You see, one of the reasons that I am so excited(besides that fact that i'm a 15 year old girl and this is my first concert) is that i was going to go to a concert last month and it was going to be great! I was going to see Rufio and many other bands at The Electric Theater but when my friends and i arrived there, the tickets were sold out! I was soooo mad! So I learned from my mistake and i bought tickets in advance. Waaay in advance! Now i can barely sit still because i'm so freaking excited! It will be great! : )

YAY!

2004-09-20T19:12:00.000-07:00

OKAY! I have decided to use my blog as a journal/whatever/i'm bored thing! I'm going to write about stuff that is going on in my life and i'll post poems and short stories and stuff too! And whenever i'm feeling bored and i'm in a hyper mood, i will just write crap that is meaningless : ) Enjoy!

Life And The Events That Make It Up

2004-09-19T20:27:00.000-07:00

Life is just a series of unfortunate and unfair events. Most of the time we cannot control what happens to us and sometimes we don't know why these things happen to us. But you should not fret because in between the unfortunate and unfair are the things that make life worth living. Do not give up. Cherish everyday as if it were you last.

I do not speak of these things without knowledge of what is unfair and unfortunate. My own life has been filled with the unfortunate and unfair and i have been so sad that i just wanted to give up but i didn't. I kept going and i will keep going until it is my time to die. But not yet.....not yet.
((I told you i would write something productive soon! XP))

Thanks!

2004-09-18T17:32:00.000-07:00

Thanks for helping me with html Matt!! you're great! Everyone, go check out Matt's blog! It's
nifty. ((check out Katie's blog too!))

Poetry

2004-09-18T14:44:00.000-07:00

Ok, i'm posting some poetry that i have written. I'll be posting some short stories in a few days!

Why am I afraid?
There’s nothing in the dark,
or is there?
Is there something in my closet?
Or underneath my bed?
How am I supposed to sleep
with all this in my head?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Will tomorrow be the same?
Dark and gloomy again?
Will the sun come out
and warm me up?
Or will I have to sit in the dark
staring out the window of my life
Watching the world speed by?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Life is a long, dark corridor.
You stumble through the gloom
trying to reach the end,
but you’re not quite sure where it is.
Sometimes you trip and fall.
You don’t want to get up,
but you have to.
Sometimes there’s a window
that lets in a little light
and you bask
in the warmth for a split second
and it’s dark again.
You trudge along
until you finally reach
the light at the end.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It's not the best poetry in the world, but I think they're pretty good. I'll post some more later and i'll probably do like a "poem of the week" kind of thing.

Awesomeness

2004-09-18T14:26:00.000-07:00

Well, this blog thing is pretty cool! I'm just trying to figure out how everything works. I can guarantee that i will be makeing productive posts soon, so don't worry!

Testing

2004-09-18T13:48:00.000-07:00

ok, this is my first post and i'm just testing to see how this thing works! XP